If only… suddenly, the hairy finger of a familiar monkey tapped me on the shoulder.
If I’d never picked up a sword, the grog-swilling pirates of the Tri-Island Area might be unthreatened by the forces of gentrification and demonic heckfire.
If only I’d chosen a different path, LeChuck might still be dead and the Ultimate Insult might have remained a mystery. I’d ignored recent events that should have been warning shots across the bow of my soul, from my wife’s brush with death to the anti-pirate ramblings of an Australian gazillionaire. Spitting the sand of Monkey Island from my mouth, I wondered if the life of a mighty pirate was all it was cracked up to be.
